After Joseph, her husband of 35 years, died of a pulmonary embolism on Thanksgiving Day in 2024 at age 80, Mary Beth Osiecki felt numb. A lifelong Catholic, she continued praying daily, though a month later, her grief made her question her faith.
“I was so tender in my own mourning — in the loss and loneliness. Joseph was my everything,” Osiecki, who retired as religious education director of Our Lady Queen of Peace Parish in the Hewitt neighborhood of West Milford, N.J., in 2019. “I went to church on Sundays, but I wasn’t sure if I still believed that the Resurrection was true.”
Last year, Osiecki’s strong faith began to return after she joined a Bereavement Ministry group at St. Thomas the Apostle Parish in the Oak Ridge neighborhood of Jefferson Township, N.J., and St. John Vianney Parish in the Stockholm neighborhood of Hardyston, N.J. She gathers with other men and women in mourning —including spouses, parents, siblings, children, and friends — to help each other navigate grief, share their loss, and find hope and comfort in Jesus.
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The Bereavement Ministry has grown to more than 30 people a month since it was founded more than four years ago by Maria Pasterchick, a retired social worker. She lost her husband, Jose, to colon cancer 21 years ago when he was 45 years old, leaving her with two children, ages 10 and 11. The group meets every other Wednesday from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at St. Thomas. The next meeting will occur on March 18.
Osiecki said Pasterchick leads the group by “letting the spirit guide her,” even though she follows a set schedule. Members pray, reflect on related Scripture, and share stories, often focusing on life’s blessings. In one activity, they pass around photos or treasured objects, such as a fishing pole, while sharing memories of loved ones. Members also discuss practical topics, such as when to clean out a loved one’s closet.
“Through the group, I realized there are different ways to grieve. I understand now that I will never get over my grief. I will always miss Joseph. Yet my Catholic faith and prayer can be part of the process,” said Osiecki, who spoke to the group about cleaning up Joseph’s large collection of computers and parts. “Maria helps people process their grief and bring out compassion in other members. She listens so well. She gets to know the members’ stories and puts them into context,” Osiecki said.
Members come from St. Thomas and St. John Vianney, as well as from other parishes and communities up to 40 minutes away. The Bereavement Ministry also holds periodic social gatherings for lunch or dinner to encourage fun and fellowship. The group receives support from Father Benjamin Williams, pastor of the two parishes, and Deacon Kevin Combs.
“The group is faith-based. You can’t get through grief without God. He is our anchor,” Pastorchick said. “Some leave the group and return. Some members come back to Mass. Also, we talk about how our roles have changed in grief. Are we still wives and husbands? The meetings affirm who we are now.”
In recognition of her efforts, Pasterchick, who is now also a grandmother, received the Vivere Christus award from the Paterson Diocese in New Jersey.
“When I lost Jose, I was angry at God. I would kneel and pray at Mass and wanted to scream,” Pasterchick said. “Then, one time at Mass, I looked at the crucifix. Peace came over me. I realized everything was going to be alright. Jose is in heaven. Once we surrender, Jesus will embrace us and grieve with us.”
Email Pasterchick at Sisco9458@gmail.com to get more information about the Bereavement Ministry group or to ask her a mentor other churches seeking to start a group.
